forsaken!

My Dearest Ms. Phair,

I've been a staunch defender of your recent work, much to the chagrin of many friends. They say you're crazy, you're a sell out, you can't sing, you act desperate and pathetic and have lost your youthful edge. I know better. I suspect that although irony made your name, you love pop music above all. So do I.

I just purchased your CD, my first in nearly two years. I was going to make it my first Apple Music Store purchase, but I heard about the five "bonus" songs that were included with the physical CD, and in addition to feeling an allegiance and protectiveness towards a fellow Oberlin alumn and having enjoyed the new songs I heard off of the Gnutella network, I went ahead and bought it.

But the EP is Microsoft Media Player DRM crippled crap. I jumped through the registration hoops with four different browsers (IE, Safari, Camino, Mozilla), but no go. I tried both streaming and downloadable versions at all bandwidth levels. My computer plays other Microsoft Media flawlessly, but not this madness.

What if I'd wanted to play this on my home stereo, not off my computer? What if I had a slow (or no) Internet connection? What if I wasn't comfortable with computers? As it happens, I'm sitting on a T-1 line in my office with a state of the art Apple and a BA in Computer Science, and I still can't hear these new gems. Troubleshooting this "EP" reminded me of the two minutes it took me to physically open your CD, which was double-wrapped in celophane in addition to one of those terrible stickers along the top. Do those physical mechanisms really prevent shoplifting? I'm not sure, but I doubt it.

It actually makes me happy on some level, because if this technology is the best Microsoft has to offer, they have no chance to even place in the so-called online music wars. But Liz, I kind of thought you were on Apple's side. Remember those great "Rip. Mix. Burn." commercials? You were even in the short version. I missed you at the Apple Music Store launch, but your presence, even if partially avaricious, must have implied even a tepid endorsement of Apple's products, right?

So, could you just mail me those tracks, or can I download them from somewhere? Thanks. There's only so many times I can listen to HWC!

Love,
David (david@mediarights.org)